The_D

The Birth of The D.

Jun 15th, 2002,

From the wild and zany members of the Gordon Woolvett Message Board.

     Author Topic: Hey Shizznit and the rest of the Chaos crew 

Jun 15th, 2002,  
   
The Innocent One
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  It's time to start a new scandal,  What are some of the wicked things you all can come up with.  It's been to quiet up in here.  So who first hum.  Lets see  
 
I know let start a story and each person add on to try to keep it going okay.  anything goes.  So we won't embarass Gordan     Let's attempt to keep it clean.  And thoses of you who know me know what I mean  
 
One upon a time, far up in the skies on the planet call Gordansville.  They lived a species of alien that did nothing at all but build things.  They awaken and eat breakfast and start to build whatever came to mind, from space ships to cars to planes but in all the building they could not produce one of these items that actually worked.  Then out of the blue a twister hit the planet, well they thought it was a twister but it turn our to be Shizznit.    
 
 
Okay who wants to add on and fly away with it. hehe  
 
Come on guys 123 sentences take this story and create something good.  
 
TIO  
 
ErgoNomical
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These innocent aliens gazed in awe at the wonder of the Shizznit.  Her flowing robes, gauzy and glowing like a newborn sun, illuminated the vast untamed horizons of their minds.  Their mouths gaped at the terrific form, the carnage and wreckage of their mechanical toys forgotten in the glory of the moment.  The Shizznit raised her hand, garbed in shimmering samite, and spoke thus to the mischevous engineers....  
 
vee
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Hey dudes!!! Que pasa?  
 
Howzabout a hot game of Gin Rummy? -------------------------------------------------- Penogra
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But what the Shizznit didn't know: There was magic in this world and by saying "Gin Rummy" a spell was casted. The unisex of the aliens was turned into male/female.  
 
As this itself wouldn't have disturbed the peace in Gordonsville enough it turned out the percentage of females was about 90%...    
 
Pen  
 
The Innocent One
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 So with a planet that now has a population of 90% females and only 10% male it's only natural the the strongest of the species be woman,  Woman of all shapes and sizes ruling over the weaker sex.  So in order to keep the planet Gordanville from going to ruin it's only right that the strong female's put the weak men to work.  Strong woman ruled over these males in the hopes of making the population stronger,  sense it is a known fact the male part of this new species that was created by the Shizznit is weak and frail.  These male must be disciplined and taught so that the creatures of Gordanville can survive.    
 
dianequeenofstuff
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From the bowels of the planet Gordonville came the despicable howl of The D.  
"I want all those men to be my slaves" she howls. Then she sets about capturing them one by one.  
Soon she has control of the reproductive nucleus of the planet, dresses them all in skimpy costumes and has them do her bidding.    
Any one who want's to reproduce has to pay me first.    
Fill out these forms in triplicate and stand in line.  
None of you hold your breath on the tall Dark one over there, he's mine.   Then again, I can charge more for him.
   
 
The D.
 
 
vickiy28200
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a small dark haired young girl with killer brown eyes walks up next to D .... hear you go my lady those thing you ask me to make for you      
 
dianequeenofstuff
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Thanks Killer,  
These are just the thing.  
Now you may have your choice of anyone one of my slaves for the weekend. Except of course THAT one. He's busy, Very Busy.  
The D.
 
     
vickiy28200
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i can wate for that one   but for now i will take that one over there

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TrinityTheSheDevil
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In walks Trinity in a long black leather coat and tight black pants.  "I'm taking ALL of your slaves D.  And you can't stop me. Muhahahahaha."  Trinity then freezes time and packs all the males in her spaceship and gets in the captains seat.  "How pathetic."  She says as she starts up the motor........  
               
The Innocent One
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 Unfortunitely for Trinity unknown to her and anyone else that land on Gordansville the spaceship she arrive in is now suffering the same fate as the ship and cars and planes that were built by the creatures of the planet that was unmistakenly turn to humans males 10% and felmale 90% the ship can not fly.  Something in the air around the planet Gordanville has rendered all that lands there permernant captor on the planet The only reason the Shizznit was able to leave is because she arrived in the form of a storm, twister there were no mechanicle object attach to her so she unwittly cast a spell unknowing to her and left the planet curse for all eternity only she can remove the spell. and turn these creature back to what they were.  The Gim Rummy curse can only be lifted by that which has cast it.  Shizznit can not be found.  So all who ventures to the planet Gordansville are cursed to remain there forever    
 
TrinityTheSheDevil
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Uh oh.......Hey D. You know I was just kidding right?  You can have all the slaves back...*backs away slowly*  Now, I just gotta find a way off this planet.  *runs away* SHIZZNIT!  Come on!  I gotta get outta here....I gotta date tonight!  PLEASE!  *Continues yelling towards the sky*  
 
dianequeenofstuff
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Good news guys your still my slaves. The D. pulls Trinity's coat up over her head and gives her a boot into the boot of the space ship. Leading her men back to the bowls of Planet Gordonville she has the need to celebrate the return of her beloved boy toys.  
Party anyone?  

The D.
 
 
TrinityTheSheDevil
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*knocks on boot*  Uh guys?  Anyone out there, there, there , there?  Hey cool, cool cool, cool, there is an echo in here, here, here, here.  *hears a growl*  What is in here with me?  *shrieks with terror*

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vickiy28200
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has anyone seen elvis    
 
 The Innocent One
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 Maybe if the Shizznit decides to return this dreaded curse can be lifted. and all shall be restored to normal again.  Diane you are a bad bad woman how can you use these men as slaves like that we need them to help plant and weed and do the heavy lifting for us until we can get off this planet.  So lighten up on the 10% of weak men okay   We are the strongist here so let's all share okay I'm sure theirs plenty to go around.  Trinity I know you are upset to be stuck here but that's what you get when you follow the crazy  Diane around.  She will lead you to the bottom of the pit just ask Astro.  He is a mere shell of what he use to be  thank to her, hehehe    
 
dianequeenofstuff
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TIO I will let you have the lesser of the men to pull your weeds and do the heavy lifting.  
I need to keep the better specimens for my own personal gratification's.  
I am a fair and just deviant.    
The useless ones are your.  
The D.
 
 
seacoral
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Here dear I found this here 14 yr boy that needs to learn hard work but him to work in your garden he needs it if he will not do anything for you give him to D to put in the dungan    
 
The Innocent One
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 D if we all want to survive until the Shizznit returns I hope we 'd better pull together it's alot of folks to feed and take care of you can't possiblely think you can hold on to the strong men and let the weaker ones work.  I don't think so kiddo.  Who the heck knows when the shizznit will return we need all able party's trap on this god forsaken planet to pitch in and help make this place livable don't you think.  Hey one can not live on pleasures alone can one.  beside if the Shizznit don't return soon and lift that dreaded curse we may all be a distant thought.  I just got word that this planet is next in line to explode, something to do with the cycle of the sun rotating about it.  So people if you have a secret way to contact Shizznit I think you'll had better start contacting her rumor has it we will all explode in 48 hours from.  
 
 
THE COUNT DOWN BEGINS NOW 1:30 Eastern time  
 
If you'll pray nows the time to do it.  
 
TIO  
 
seacoral
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Now Inncontone D has to have the strong one to bulid all of us the shelter maybe she can give up the young ones to help you for a little while  
 
But really now we do need all to pull together now

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The Innocent One
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 That what I am talking about we have about 45 hours left if it a shelter to keep us all safe from the explosion them I'm all for the shelter but we'd better do something real fast time ticking away slowly.   I thought she wanted to keep them for her unusual pleasures hehe but hey if they can make a shelter for all the population of this planet in 45 hours lets get to work.  who's with us. D  
 
 
ANYONE WITH KNOWLEGDE OF THE WHERE ABOUTS OF THE SHIZNITT, FIND HER FAST      
 
vickiy28200
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vicki sticks head out of her realy big bom shealter whats all the what not about this place going bom    
 
seacoral
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seacoral here I have not seen her but I will kep my eyes open    
 
dianequeenofstuff
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Quote:I just got word that this planet is next in line to explode, something to do with the cycle of the sun rotating about it.  
 
 
No problem TIO I'll just call Big D.    
Planetary problems are her specialty.
 
 
"I heard The D. was looking for me, something to do with this worthless piece of rock going to explode?    
 
I brought along this cute little Nova bomb, I'll just set it in this space ship. Wait a minute this one of the locals piles or scrap! Okay a little tweaking and some of this left over element 39 and she should be able to do the distance.  
 
I'll just set the nova bomb to explode half way between this planet and the next. That ought to put Gordonville into retrograde for the next 5,000 years.    
 
Ought to be enough time for The D. to get tired of her slaves and move on.  
BOMBS AWAY!!!
 
 
seacoral
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RUN RUN RUN  
 
jj running to shelter  
 
vee
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Vee walks in as TIO is giving the "Speech of Doom"   She is shocked to hear this! "It took me 12 years to save for this vacation!!!"  
"I'll be DARNED if anything's gonna ruin it!!!"  
Vee runs to her cabin in the trees and grabs the lap top so that she can IM the SHIZZNIT  ...  
 
seacoral
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Well it's about time you got here .  
 
vee
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on Apr 20th, 2002, 10:02pm, vickiy28200 wrote:has anyone seen elvis    
 
 
After hearing Vicky's question, Vee looks up and pauses in the middle of typing the IM with a look of utter horror etched into her face...  
"Oh no!!!  Has ELVIS left the building?!!?"  
 
seacoral
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   look under the edge of the waterbed or better yet look in sha's bed  

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The Innocent One
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 Woman forget Elvis and reverse this flippin curse the dreaded Gin Rummy curse you put upon us  we no longer want to be male and females we want our old forms back please hurry before it's to late for Gordanville and it occupants.  beside Deb whispers in Vee ear  their are a lot of uh!!Bad element running aroud here you know what I mean   Please get Shizznit to release us  
 
NOW  
 
vickiy28200
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vicki rofl   he ant under sha's bed he is under chads dask(sp)    
vicki reaches in to her poicket and hands TIO a new element hear just tak out the old one and put this one in and puff    no more bad element    
 
vee
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OK, everybody...time for a wake-up-call & a little vous ja de (deja vous, backwards!)  
Watch & learn!  
   
Dark clouds gather in the distant sky!  As they crash together, a low rumbling sound is heard and as they come nearer the rumbling grows louder!  Suddenly as an enormous thunder clap explodes in the sky overhead, a blinding bolt of lightning appears and the voices cry, "Behold!  the SHIZZNIT  
is here to save the day..."    
   
A giant force is felt throughout the planet, grinning, with cigar held firmly between her teeth, wearing sunglasses so dark as to pierce the soul.  She displays her custom-made 2002 model,  M60 food sprayer w/mounted pie-slinger then realizes that she's NOT needed for a food battle! Once she's brought up to speed on the situation..."Oh fudge, is that all?" She then accesses the data she needs to reverse the spell via her Palm Pilot and looks toward the heavens. Closing her eyes, she raises her arms summoning all the powers that be. "I give unto you the spell to reverse this curse!"  As she moves her lips to utter the words of salvation the wind starts to blow harder, picking up debris forming a whirlpool around the SHIZZNIT   The gale-force winds scream, whipping her hair to and fro, her voice is still heard above it all as she yells... "YMMUR NIG!!!"    
As soon as the words are released, peace is, once again, restored to the land!  
Regarding her "entrance", the SHIZZNIT  explains..."This was just to refresh your memories, in case y'all forgot my capabilities!"  
   
Then, POOF! she's gone!  
 
 
dianequeenofstuff
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Drat that Shizznit's!!! Where'd all the bumpies and knobbies go?    Big D. get me off this neutered rock!  
 
Sure, The D. I have done my work here and may as well move on considering I am considered a, "bad element."  
I won't stay where I am not appreciated.
 
 
Do you think we can take my favorite slave to the Cone Chin planet and see if we can work something out?  
 
What have you got to trade the Cone Chins for their services?  
 
Just this.  
 
The D. shows Big D. a cryonics chamber with the sleeping Elvis in it. Blinding light glinting off his bejeweled costume and teeth.  
 
Should work! Slave Boy Toy, grab your end. Let us away........
Big D.  

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vickiy28200
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vicki comes runing out of her boom shealter upond hearing the shizznit guns in hand quit(sp)guy that she for got to give back to D   in toe did i hear some thing about a ff    
o no ff   gose back in come on man time to go back in and finsh that back rub      
 
vee
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on Apr 24th, 2002, 8:30am, dianequeenofstuff wrote:Should work! Slave Boy Toy, grab your end. Let us away........  
D.  
 
 
...and they lived happily ever after!!  
 
The Innocent One
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 Ahhhhhhhhhhhh What a lovely thiller that was I guess it's time for a new one that was cutting it pretty close Vee I thought for a moment The planet was going to really explode.  But as always you are in the nick of time.  So what trouble can we get into now Hum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!let's see.  
 
     
 
Vee it's your turn, to start a new saga!!!!!!!!!  
 
Well I'm waiting    
 
vee
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Deb! You've GOT to be kidding!  I hurt my self with that last one!! Too much exercise for my little punkin' head!!!!!  
And I even plagiarized myself!!!  
Whoever starts the next one...go easy on me! I'm gettin' too old for this!!!  
 
The Innocent One
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WHOW!!!!! DID I JUST HERE YOU, VEE!!!!!! ADMIT THAT YOU WERE OLD?
 
 
SOMEONE CALL 911, TIO HAS JUST PASSED OUT FROM THE SHOCK OF HEARING THAT VEE IS OLD  
 
 
vickiy28200
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thud    
 
vee
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Very funny you two!!!  
 
yuk! yuk!    
 
But ya gotta admit that it was pretty good...for an old broad!!!  
 
The Innocent One
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ROTFLMAO  okay I just never thought I'd actually hear you admit it.  He He it kind of shock this Innocent one.  From the looks of things little Vickie was shocked to Vee help me help this litlle one up,  Has anyone got any smelling salt she's really out.    
 
Come on Vickie dear wake up, it was only a joke Vee's not really old see she's only 16.  wake up now okay (TIO is passing the salt under Vickie nose    
 
vee
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Here Deb! I've got a bucket of ice for yo...Vee slips on the cap to the smelling salts and the bucket of ice lands on Deb's head while the ice hits Vicky!!!  OOPSIE!!!  
 
The Innocent One
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 Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!  
 
Vee you little devil.  (deb shivering from the cold ice peers at Vickie who is just starting to come around)  Vee I think she is in need of some major doctoring.   Hey remember the labotomy we perform on you hehe you know the one when you were walking into the wrong threads and talking kinda weird,  Karin and I tried to tape you head on right but we kinda connect the wrong brain cells to the wrong veins,  Hey can we try that on Vickie it may bring her back to reality, Hey come on Vee I fell like expermenting again what do you say let's give it another shot okay sis  
 
together Deb and vee lays Vickie out on the stretcher and get there tool ready scapels, saws, scissors knives and plenty of alcolahol and peroxcide.  Hey where Astro when we need him weve helped him enough now it's his turn to come to our aid,  hehe we need a nurse  
 
Okay Vee where should we start Deb is staring at the forehead of Vickie as Vee straps her to the table so she don't move and deb takes the scapal and is about to jam it into the forehead of Vickie  
 
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!! someone had better stop her she' not a surgeon!!!!!  
 
TOO LATE vICKIE'S HEAD IS IMPALED ON THE CUTTING BOARD DEB AND VEE WATCHS AS HER BRAINS SPILL OUT ONTO THE TABLE.  
 
Now the neck bones connected to the shoulder bone, the shoulder bones conected to the head bone,  That's how they connected those dry bone.  
 
Oh what fun I am having how about you Vee hear take the saw now what are you going to do  
 
 
Don't look so shocked Vee you know you want to use that saw in your hands hehehe Dig in sis lets have some fun for a change.

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