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Unfortunately, all good unwrappings must come to an end and even though C2's ear-deafening bellow has halted Sherry's bondage, eh bandage game, the last scrap falls away to reveal a tiny little party favour.
"Mummy!" cries Big D sadly. "She was just one big 'pass-the-parcel'."
"And I won!" Sherry cries with glee holding up the brightly coloured cracker. "Who wants to pull with me? Tyr?"
Tyr obligingly steps up and grasps the other end of the cracker.
"I am unfamiliar with this custom" he says.
Sherry fills him in. "First we pull on this party favour then I pull on..."
"SHERRY!" warns Big D, waggling her finger. "No funny stuff!"
"Er OK" says Sherry, looking chagrined. "Pull, Tyr, pull!"
As they tug mightily at each end of the cracker, it suddenly bursts apart and a single CD drops out.
Mystified, Big D. retrieves the CD and they all follow her back to the ship to listen to its contents. The tape begins to play once Big D. inserts it into the ship's CD player.
Mummy's voice rings out "If you are listening to this message, then I have been unravelled....so I leave to those who come after, the entire contents of my treasure trove..."
The listeners' eyes pop at the mention of treasure. Surreptitiously they all began backing out of the ship, carrying spades and lanterns behind their backs, all the time whistling a cheery tune to cover their subterfuge.
The voice on the tape continues. "...Whoever can find the map I left hidden in my tomb will be able to follow it to the hidden treasure..."
There is a massive stampede out the door, people trampling each other in their rush to be first to reach the tombs on the other side of the asteroid. And no one is left to hear the final part of the message - "....but beware the deadly traps that have been set into the entrance to the tombs. Have a nice day!"
In the now empty ship, a bandage-wrapped figure steps out of the shadows and laughs gleefully "Bwahahahahahaha!"
Karin is walking merrily along one of the many asteroid hiking paths when she is run over from behind by a pack of mad treasure hunters. A tall one with red hair shoves her into an asteroid hole and keeps on running. Karin thinks, "Ow!" Then..."I know that hair and that elbow! If SHE'S actually running there must be a treasure nearby. Or a man. Or food. Or just something shiny." All of those things seemed to be worth investigating, so Karin pulled on her Indiana Jones adventure hat, plucked her magnifying glass from her backpack and followed the trail of the hunters. It turned out that she didn't really need the magnifying glass. It was quite evident where the herd had gone by the trampled plants, broken tree limbs and the yelling from ahead. The magnifying glass did manage to start a spectacular trail of fire as Karin carried it carelessly at her side and the sun shone directly through it.
Sherry who is feeling very sure that she can find a way to steel the treasure once the others do the grunt works drops down in Big D.'s chair to revel as though she now has control of the Adeemeda. She starts giving orders to the Mummy to set a course for the other side of the planet, to keep the ship high enough out of sight.
Big D. and Tyr with her their long legs and superior gene's reach the tomb ahead of the herd hungry for the horde.
Their 6th sense tells them things are never this easy.
I know where the map is, she breaths hot and heavy in his ear,
Mummy Dearest was so relieved to find an old friend she confided in me. Big D. was not cutting him in on a bet, she wanted his back up.
They trip the first Kirk clone that rounds the bend and he rolls into the entrance of the tome. A battalion of gorillas jumped him. Big D. had brought the old mummy wrappings along and had crocheted them into a net. Quickly they wrapped up the gorillas and hung them on a tree.
That's far enough Tyr.
From her comfortable vantage point in the AnDeemoda, Sherry watched the action on the viewscreen.
Haha, you don't think it's that easy, do you Big D? she thought, as Tyr and the captain embraced triumphantly.
In their excitement, they failed to see the ground opening up beneath their feet.
Tyr screamed like a girl as they fell, desperately trying to grab a handhold on the slippery sides of the sloping walls.
With a loud SLURP! they dropped into a syrupy brown substance that Big D. quickly identified as treacle.
Just like quicksand, it began to suck them under. Frantically Big D. scrambled up on Tyr's shoulders to avoid sinking further.
As he tried to keep his head above the surface of the treacle, Tyr yelled "What about me, Big D? Aren't I your precious Pookykins?"
D. shrugged, almost losing her balance. Without his long hair, there was little of Tyr's head to grab onto.
"At the moment, you're my precious life preserver" she remarked practically....
At the same time in a different part of the tombs, C2 RedH. and Vee had joined forces.
They were trying to negotiate a rickety swing bridge that led to one of the tomb entrances.
A strong wind had blown up and Vee was regretting forgetting her panties.
She shouted at C2 to hurry up but C2 was clinging to one of the ropes shaking with fear, as the bridge swayed to and fro like a drunken sailor.
"Don't look down!" cried Red H. but it was too late.
All C2 could see was the raging piranha infested waters below.
Suddenly a smell of burning hemp reached their nostrils and they watched horrified as Karin arrived, still trailing her magnifying glass.
It had set the swing bridge on fire!!!!
As the ropes began to fry and separate, Karin, oblivious to the disaster she had created (the rest of the asteroid was going up in flames behind her) smiled cheerfully "What's up guys?"
"Not us!" Vee cried as the ropes broke and they plunged downwards....
Meanwhile Harper had found an old piece of parchment tucked away behind a wall of hieroglyphs...
"Mother of God Big D. I thought we where soul mates?" whines Tyr.
Now you have done it Tyr, you invoked that odd ball MOG
You called?
No I didn't it was Tyr taking a girlie fit, you can head back to your cloud now, nice to see you.
"Big D. don't you think it would be a good idea now that she is here to see if she could help us out of this sticky wicket?"
Are you daft man, have you any idea what the pay back is when she lends a hand?
"I'll pay it!"
As long as it's on your tab...
MOG darling, would you mind helping us out of this mess please?
MOG pulls out her palm pilot and checks her appointments, shuts off the ringer, and proceeds to punch numbers into the keypad.
Let's see, I have an opening in the next millennium, I can switch your rescue with the deflection of an asteroid heading directly for earth.
"JUST DO IT!" screams Tyr with bubbles of treacle coming out of his nose. "We will be sure to not be any where near earth in the next millennium."
MOG waves her hand and the treakle turns to water filled with bubbles and they float out of the pit encased in one of them. The bubble hit the wall of fire and explodes, Tyr and Big D. land on top of Harper.
Hey there little buddy, what have you got there?
That will be your soul Tyr, as my slave for the next 3000 years,
I will collect when it is time.....
As the bridge swings towards the opposite wall of rock, several things happen at once. Vee wrenches a piece of wood free and readies herself to harpoon a piranha. After all, no need to waste a good cooking fire. C2 positions herself with Vee between her and the oncoming wall. RedH is yelling for any lizards or other animals to get out of the way before they're smushed. Karin digs in her backpack - looking for a map. She doesn't think that the burning bridge should be located HERE. As the swingers do their thing, they fail to notice that a huge crack has appeared in the rock wall. As C2 braces herself to be the topping on the Vee pancake that is sure to follow, the bridge swings into the crack. The swingers find themselves in what looks like a 70's disco lounge - complete with purple velvet furniture.
"Cool!" says RedH. "This is a great place to sing the opera I wrote!"
So she starts singing.....at least she thinks it's singing. Everything else in the universe has a different opinion....
Harper was staring at the parchment in his hands. It seemed oddly familiar somehow. He held it close to his nose, he held it at arms length, but he still could not put his finger on it.
Suddenly he let out a yell of surprise! “Hey! This is the script for the episode I’m writing! How did it wind up in a Mummy’s old tomb?”
Little did he know what The Mummy’s motives were. She had heard that Rev would be in it, and she wanted to take Rev out of the script and put herself in as replacement. His appearance changes anyway, who would know the difference? (Nothing against Rev you see, she just saw an opportunity.)
Tyr yells at Big D. "How could you let me sign away my soul like that?"
Big D. snickers "As long as your body is still at my disposal, who cares about your soul?"
They get into a huge argument which ends up with Tyr stomping off in a fit of pique back to the ship.
Where Sherry is waiting, dressed in a doctor's uniform and clutching a stethoscope....
But Big D. does not go after him.
Instead she hears the sound of blaring disco music and follows its hypnotic rhythms down to a cave.
Standing outside the cave is a bored looking bouncer who says to Big D. "Ticket, please!"
Big D. shrugs her shoulders.
She has no ticket but she wants to get in - the disco music is calling to her and her feet begin tapping.
She goes wild when she hears the opening bars of 'YMCA'.
So she tears open her jacket, saying "How about these tickets then?" and while the bouncer lies blinded upon the ground, she casually steps over him into the cave.
Inside she finds C2 dancing mesmerised under a spinning silver ball, unable to take her eyes from it.
She is mumbling "Yes Master, I hear and obey..." over and over.
Big D. passes her by.
She sees Red H. who is dancing in twelve inch platform heels whilst 'singing' opera.
Crash! - over she goes but still keeps singing even as she lies broken on the disco floor.
Big D. steps over her.
She spies Karin struggling to rise from a purple beanbag and gives her a helping hand.
However when she realises that Karin is wearing a gold lame halter neck shirt and psychedelic bell bottoms, she pushes her back down into the depths of the beanbag.
"Come out when you've got some style, kiddo!" she yells and passes her by.
She parts a beaded curtain to find Harper reclining on a shagpile rug smoking something with a funny smell.
She passes him by... after a quick toke.
At last she locates the little girl's room and settles in with a sigh of relief.
A drawing tacked on the back of the toilet door catches her attention, spinning and morphing as it is like some funky disco decoration. But then so is everything by now!
It is right next to the graffitti that says 'Want a good time? - call Vee on 66.666.66'
Big D. screams "Vee what are you doing in my cubicle?", hastily pulling up her pants.
Vee blushes "Just seeing if there were any replies to my advertisement for a roommate." She drops a lime green crayon to the floor and nudges it behind the cistern.
Big D. eyes her suspiciously. "Are you sure you weren't after the map?"
"Map? What map?" asks Vee wide eyed, hands clasped behind back and foot trailing a circle on the floor.
"That map!" cries Big D. pointing to the drawing which is a map of the asteroid and has a large X painted on it.
"The treasure map!" Vee screams, alerting all the disco dancers who come running.
"The Map!" they all cry and reach for the drawing at the same time....
Tyr arrives back at the ship to find it's not there,
"Now where could it be" he thinks out loud.
"Oh well" he says "I already owe MOG 3,000 years of service what's another couple of thousand years, how bad can it be? Mother of God, you hoo where are you?"
Mog returns looking like he just woke her from a nap.
"What now, can't you do anything by yourself?"
"Not unless I sprout wings I can't. Sherry must have run off with the Andeemoda and I need to hook up with the ship. There's a stash of Brownies and ice-cream I don't want her or Mummy dearest to get their teeth into."
MOG is never a cheery bean when she's awaken from a nap and pulls a lightning bolt out of her big hair and plunges it into the ground next to Tyr and disappears.
"Hey watch it...." Tyr looks around to find himself on the command deck of the Andeemoda, he looks at his hands to find he's holding a stethoscope and one of those little triangular reflex hammers. "This is truly not my body"
Mog in her infinite wisdom has transported Tyr into Sherry's body. Tyr catches a look at his clonebug crushing back side and knows he can't touch the brownies and ice-cream now.
"Oh no, what will Big D. say? Will she still love me now that I'm...?
Mummy who's in the middle of an identity crisis, doesn't like the sound of things pulls on a pair of dark glasses to save her eyes from the glint off of Elvis's costume and teeth, climbs into the cryonics chamber to hide. Unfortunately she accidentally hit the defrost button as she closes the lid.
Mean while, back at the stall, a long arm covered in hair and warts reaches out of the toilet and grabs the map off the stall door to disappear back down into the darkness.
Darn that smoke Harper shared, it slowed down my reflexes. She pulls a ray gun out of her pocket and trains it on everyone but C2, (who can not swim) they shrink to the size of rats and dive in the toilet after the map.
Sherry/Tyr teleports into the toilet.
"At last!" she/he gasps "A working toilet! Blast Red H. and her Prune Delight for backing up all the loos on the AnDeemoda." She/he settles gratefully on the bowl, ready to unleash the entire contents of her/his bloated bowels.
"Ah that's better!" Sherry/Tyr sighs "Guess that makes one more clogged up toilet on this planet!" and reaches out to flush....
Sherry/Tyr pauses, looks straight into the camera and after a dramatic drumroll that keeps repeating, says "No crap, I really am going to flush....."
Karin hears the jiggling of the handle from not nearly far enough away. Is the look on her face..."SWIM!!!"
Too late!
They are all taken at the tide, in the full flush of their youth. The tiny adventurers are tossed about hither and thither by the fury of the wave.
Standing in the toilet cubicle, Sherry/Tyr scratches her/his head, thinking That can't be a chorus of little voices I hear crying for help, I must be dreaming!
The tiny people are awash in the S-bend as Big D. tries to mount a rescue mission.
"Grab hold of that passing log" she cries to her companions. Karin wrinkles up her soggy nose and keeps swimming.
"Big D. that is NOT a log!" she calls over her shoulder.
They bob around for hours trying to keep their heads above water until finally they round a corner of the sewer system and end up in a creepy cave-like enclosure.
A severed body part crawls out to meet them.
It is waving the map triumphantly in its hand.
"Welcome to the Lair of the Hairy Warty Arm" it announces by banging on the ground in morse code, which Harper translates.
It senses their fear and taps out "Don't worry, I'm 'armless!" in a jocular tone.
"But WE are armed!" cries Big D. whipping out her laser gun. She fires!
Unfortunately the laser has been deactivated by the water and it gives a little FRITZ and dies.
"I have a bobby pin and I'm not afraid to use it!" Karin yells bravely.
Red H. chimes in "And I will sing if I have to" which causes the others to shudder with horror.
The arm taps out BWAHAHAHAHA in morse and moves closer to the terrified group.
"Do your worst!" Big D. dares the ugly arm, who whips out an ARMy knife in response.
Just as things look pretty bad for the friends, a large fish hook bobs up in the water near the cavern.
"Grab hold!" C2's voice echoes distantly from above as she lowers the fishing lure a little more.
Unfortunately it is very hard to hear her, what with the tapping arm and the rushing water.
"I think she said 'nab gold'" Karin offers, thinking about the treasure.
"No no she distinctly said 'flab folds'" Red H. argued, worrying about her waistline.
"You're both wrong! She said 'crab mould'!" Big D. roared, imagining the contents of her fridge.
Vee slaps a hand across her mouth before she tells them all what she thought C2 had said, and embarrasses herself horribly.
"Here's an idea - let's all 'grab hold' of the line and let her pull us out!" Harper sighs exasperatedly as the women argue and the arm advances.
They decide to follow his advice but then they remember the map....
Back on the ship, Mummy was shocked when Elvis jumped out of stasis and started singing and dancing all over the bridge. But it didn’t take long before she started enjoying herself and could not resist joining in.
The two sung and danced, danced and sung, sung and danced. They never noticed when things around them started to change.
All over the ship plants started to appear. They were very strange plants, which began muttering and whispering ominously to each other.
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